Today is my dad’s birthday. And as her 22 yo daughter, there much of words he had taught me. Lots of those, was a good advice. Until I trully realized about it. Some of way of getting alive.
I studied in public school over 12 years and get my dinner on my own table every night. My mom is a great and tought chef. I said tough because she was wonder-mom, would never let her kids getting starving every morning before the schoold bus coming.
When the night came, the TV in living rooms was automatically turning off. After praying maghrib, I sometimes helped my mom to get the dinner ready. I said sometime, because I was still too young to see the situations.
I don’t know when it started, as of this night, my family would like to have dinner together. We did lots of talks. Since I could tied it up as a bunch of story or even a thick novel. As I grew up and move from home to continued my study, I was remind of the sharing time.
It was me and my beloved follower, mister shadow. Enjoying traveling and walking around the university didn’t make things better. I need a chicken to talk with, so I came to the restaurant and got my fried chincken wings. Kidding, I need friends to talk to. I was a weird person to had those in common. The only thing I knew was even I was an awkward but I wasn’t a coward.
I asked them to have lunch with me. I said lunch because it was a very busy, hot, exhausted day for us. But they didn’t agree. I got my rejection. Some seconds, I got my second change. It was weirder night. I got my first friend in my first night after entering the university. And from there, I got lots of them.
Nevertheless, my dad’s words was right. You need someone to get the dinner with. It’s more than just dinner, he means to someone who really you wanna talk to, share some ideas feeling. Some people may said as sharing meal or anything, as long as you don’t face your plate alone.
Eating together is a side order of communication. More than a way of making friendsship, it’s also bussiness-ship, or political-ship.
Amanda Gordon, the psychologist, had told us about this, taking away our phone, and enjoying the moment with, then just being gratefull.
The Oxford, ocassionally, goes so far as to suggest people who eat socially (comes the scientific term) will feel happier, more satisfied with life, and more trusting of others. They will be more engage with their local communities and have more friends they can depend on.
As it says, social eating could improve self-esteem. I do agree with these, notably if you’re the one who treat them.
As also narrated by the clerics, even the prophet, Muhammad peace be upon him, always invited someone to eat together. What a paragon! Further more, the OECD (Organization for Economic Coperation and Develompemnt) found that student who shared meal with families were less likely to skip school, abuse drugs and alcohol. What a researches!
The practice of eating together was done by people of Indonesia instead. They were Bajamba in Sumatra, Ngeliwet in Sunda people, Megibung in Bali, Bancakan in Jawa, Binarundak in North Sulawesi, and Patita in Maluku. Different place with different people, different cuisines, and different meaning of cultures but same nation, Indonesia.
However, the best part of these wasn’t the cuisine but rather to the information exchange. We did know the latest and actual news about university, students, or even the cancellor. Bring those benefits it’s always something go give with, the time.
I was a fast eater, and I am still. Usually it takes 5 to 10 minutes to finish the dish. Nonetheless when you eat by some people besides. Prepare for your al least 50 minutes, but all that has guaranteed.
The connection and all those-ships would be last longer and precious. Believe me! What an hour!
Adibah Rasikhah Amanto, Food Studiest Enthusiast